yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
SHOUTOUT TO CATS FOR GETTING THEIR CLAWS STUCK IN THINGS AND THEN WHEN YOU HELP THEY GET OFFENDED THAT YOU TOUCHED THEIR PAW
STOP RIGHT THERE!
You’re under arrest for being such a cutie. Oh oops it seems I have forgotten my handcuffs I guess I’ll just have to hold your hand. You have the right to remain silent. Or you can talk. I like it when you talk. Okay now come with me please.
no one’s an atheist 30 seconds before an orgasm
OH MY FUCKING GOD
that’s the spirit
I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise.
And then i assume that they are lying to make fun of me